The House of the Rising Tide

 As Hurricane Gustav speeds its way towards the Louisiana coast, Mayor Ray Nagin has warned residents to get their 'butts out of New Orleans now' as emergency services would not be available to those who chose to stay. So, no change there then. Meanwhile, Republicans ever mindful of the catastrophic aftermath of Hurricane Katrina are starting to worry ... that it might upset their upcoming convention and the official announcement of Sarah Palin's vice presidential candidacy. Sources close to Senator McCain have stated that a natural disaster of this magnitude could put a 'real damper' on the event, and the hurricane won't help much either.

 

Today's Haiku Film Review:

 

Gone with the Wind (1939) -

 

Romance blooms despite

American Civil War.

Big in Atlanta.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Putin the boot in

 Are we on the verge of a new Cold War? Foreign Secretary David Milibland has warned the Kremlin about the dangers of isolating itself over its stance on the breakaway republics of South Ossetia and Abkhazia (worth 26 points in Scrabble), but Russian President Dmitry Medvedev (18 points) has been meeting with leaders from China and the 'stans. This could lead to the formation of a rival to NATO, in the manifestation of a Central Asian Treaty Organisation, or CATO. Here's where our problem starts: as we all know, the only person capable of defeating CATO is Inspector Clouseau, and we don't want to have to rely on the French!

 

Today's Haiku Film Review:

 

The Pink Panther (1963) -

 

Forget the cartoon.

The original Clouseau

Is a bumbling hit.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Limburglars!

£15,000 worth of cheese was stolen from a lorry parked in a lay-by in Hereford overnight, while the driver slept. The Krafty thieves caerphilly removed pallets containing wheels of an unidentified variety and escaped unfeta-d. A police spokesman stated: 'Ricotta stop these munsters before they strike again'. Extra security is to be laid on for a massive shipment of Bath Olivers due next week.

 

Today's Haiku Film Review:

 

Village of the Damned (1960) -

 

Final result in:

Wyndham's Midwich Cuckoos - nil,

Rest of the World - one.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

I kid you not...

 Italian priest, Antonio Rungi, is organising an online beauty contest for nuns, to increase their profile within the Catholic Church. The competition, dubbed Miss Sister 2008, starts next month and visitors to his blog can vote for their favourites based on online profiles, with pictures! Though many have led cloistered lives, these modelling novices will be battling to be crowned 'Top Bride of Christ' and win an all-expenses-paid trip to the Vatican to meet Pope Eric Morley and Cardinal Michael Aspel. Keeping with tradition, the final results will be given in reverse holy order.

 

Today's Haiku Film Review:

 

The French Connection (1971) -

 

Drug dealers beware -

Gene Hackman's had his spinach.

Best car chase in film?

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Harvey's ghost...

 Downing Street are up in arms about Marcus Harvey's portrait of Myra Hyndley, which was shown as part of a promotional video screened in Beijing to demonstrate Britain's rich cultural heritage ahead of the 2012 games. What's all the fuss about? It's a piece of art! It may not represent the height of good taste to some people, but is it any more tasteless than Jack the Ripper tours of Whitechapel or The London Dungeon? C'mon everybody, grow up, after all most of our heritage is based on murder and misdeeds. Let's get as many tourists over here as possible - the Moors, the merrier.

 

Today's Haiku Film Review:

 

The Simpsons Movie (2007) -

 

To put it bluntly,

As Comic Book Guy might say,

Best movie ever!

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Biden his time...

 Barack Obama has finally announced his running mate in the upcoming US presidential election as 65 year-old Delaware senator, Joe Biden. In an unprecedented technological move, the announcement was made to supporters by text message, but unfortunately, due to predictive texting, they were informed that their next vice presidential candidate would be Loom Achedoom, a name unlikely to instil much confidence in floating voters. The other candidates for the position, Virginia governor Tigh Li, Indiana senator Feta Baby and ex-first lady High Backonto, are all yet to comment.

 

Today's Haiku Film Review:

 

All The President's Men (1976) -

 

Woodward and Bernstein

Break the Watergate scandal.

No Linda Lovelace!

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Up the Gary...

 Gary Glitter's comeback continued as today he touched down at Heathrow for the final leg of a tour that included appearances in Vietnam, Thailand, Hong Kong (nearly) and now Uxbridge Magistrates' Court. Autograph hunters included the sex offenders register, who are keen for him to sign regularly. Rumours of a duet with Michael Jackson, produced by Jonathan King, are yet to be confirmed, but a pram rock revival appears to be on the cards, with bands like The Bay City Strollers and The Sweets looking to reform.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/lemora/world-of-gruntfuttock/entries/2008/08/14/do-you-wanna-touch-me/1329

 

 

Today's Haiku Film Review:

 

Can't Stop The Music (1980) -

Village People in

Something approximating

Film entertainment.